I’m sorry it’s taking so long to finish the last Brethren book. To be honest, I haven’t felt too enthusiastic about writing it, in part because I’ve really been focusing on my YA manuscript, trying to polish it and fend off the ego-blows from agent rejections and near-misses, and in part because I’m tired of self publishing. It’s expensive to buy cover art and editing and time-consuming to fool with the layouts and uploading and marketing and book trailers. And the financial return on these investments of time, effort, energy, and money just isn’t always there. (But having a reader email to say they loved your book? PRICELESS.)
Another reason is just life itself: y’know, the usual distractions, like work, school, family, laundry, groceries, bills, etc.
But to be honest, another reason “Darkness Falls” has remained unfinished was that reader backlash from the whole Lina/Augustus angle, while understandable, still stung, and I just haven’t felt much excitement about writing about the Brethren. While infuriating for some readers, the Lina/Augustus hookup was actually really exciting for me to have written about, just because it kind of caught me off-guard as a storyline, and I figured, what the hell, let’s throw that curve into the mix. Same thing I had in mind when [SPOILER ALERT] I had Rene shoot Brandon in “Dark Hunger.”
Anyway, I have about 30k done on “Darkness Falls,” but the direction it kept heading wasn’t one I liked. I was writing to give people the story I thought they wanted, but not the one I necessarily felt any joy or passion about telling. And I just couldn’t seem to figure out how to fix it, or even want to try. So I kept pushing it, again and again, to the back burner.
I know many of you have been waiting patiently for it, and asking politely when it will be out, and I feel like a big shit heel because I keep saying such-and-such a date, and then that date passes, and I don’t have a book for you. I’m ashamed of myself. As my readers, y’all are everything. I love my readers and hate disappointing you.
So yesterday, I was listening to a song, and realized, hey – these lyrics tell the story for “Darkness Falls.” Not the one I’d originally imagined and was struggling to write, but the one that made the most sense, for me and for readers to enjoy. I’m not saying I’m going to get it done any time soon, because other manuscripts, work, life, bills, family, pets, etc. are all still around to distract me, but I think I might have finally seized upon the spark I needed to re-energize the story in my mind…the one to make me want to write about these characters again.
I’m going to try. I’m sorry I’ve let y’all down.